10 Conversations to Have With Your Partner Before the Wedding Day

When preparing for your wedding, it’s natural to get caught up in the excitement of having a beautiful dress, cake and honeymoon destination. However, amidst the frenzy, remember to discuss more important topics, such as money and family. Before tying the knot, have these discussions with your partner to set a solid foundation for your married life.

1. Financial Status and Goals

Money is one of the most significant issues married couples fight about. It’s a personal topic that people refuse to discuss because they fear judgment or feel they don't earn enough. Financial matters can be a source of stress between you and your partner, so being on the same page is essential.

Open up about each other’s debts, earnings, savings accounts and investments. Discuss expectations about expenses and merging accounts. This can be an opportunity to build goals together.

2. Children

Not all couples discuss children before marriage. Whether you both want kids or not, you should touch on other topics related to kids, such as pregnancy, birth control and adoption. If you want children, discuss each other’s expectations and preferred timelines.

3. Child Care and Parenting

If you decide to raise children, consider your child care options. Discuss your ideal situation — would you rather work and raise kids together? Would you invest in out-of-home child care or be a stay-at-home parent? Touching on topics such as day care and school options is also beneficial.

4. Family Origins

You and your partner probably liked and disliked some things about growing up. For instance, you might wish you’d had more opportunities to play sports. Discuss the qualities and values you want and refuse to bring into your marriage.

5. Religious and Spiritual Beliefs

There are circumstances where couples don’t share the same religion or spiritual background. While it’s not necessarily required for a successful marriage, it’s essential to consider how your beliefs will fit into your lifestyle.

For instance, if you’re a Catholic who consistently practices gratitude for your marriage and reads the Bible every night, ask your future spouse if they would join you in your rituals. Embracing a flexible approach to religion can help you adapt to differences while maintaining a healthy bond with your partner.

6. Day-to-Day Living

Around 80% of people who do chores disagree with their partners about housework, and 61% of individuals clean again after their partner finishes a chore. Discuss how you and your partner prefer doing chores in the house. Even if you’re already living together, situations might change once you get married. A cleaning schedule can help you divide labor.

7. Deal-Breakers

Deal-breakers are normal. It could be about where you want to settle in, what religion you want your kids to have and your career goals. Some examples of deal-breakers include:

• Selfishness
• Jealousy
• Political affiliation
• Family relationships

Be honest about your non-negotiables so your partner can work with you to accommodate them.

8. In-Laws

Tying the knot means joining a newly expanded family. You and your future spouse should discuss how often you’ll interact with your respective family members. For instance, do your in-laws expect attendance on specific holidays? Are your parents hoping your partner will take part in monthly reunions?

Consequently, asking your partner how you prioritize your relationship is also essential. In circumstances where their parents want something but you want another option, how would your future spouse handle that? Be ready to answer the same inquiries from your partner as well.

9. Sex

You and your future spouse may have different preferences in this area. Your definition of a healthy sex life may differ from your partner’s. Opening up about each other’s expectations is essential so you can explore various options to be intimate.

10. Conflict Resolution

Couples handle conflicts in various ways. Sometimes, even the most compatible partners can get frustrated when their methods don’t align. For instance, you might prefer expressing your feelings first, while your partner wants to go straight to solving the problem. Talking about your approaches and finding a middle ground can help avoid conflicts in the future.

Plan for Your Marriage

A heart-to-heart talk about these topics can pave the way to a happy marriage. It may be challenging, but it’s crucial to ensure you’re on the same page before embarking on the marriage journey.