Happily Ever After? 5 Little-Known Pitfalls for the Newly Married
Wedded bliss requires work borne from a deeply shared sense of love. When you return from your honeymoon and begin your new life as a married couple, ensure you and your spouse don’t fall for these little-known pitfalls.
You’ll have a much happier life as a newly married couple by following this advice.
1. Don’t Live Without a Roommate Agreement
You might not consider your spouse your roommate — after all, your relationship is more than a platonic living arrangement. However, this mindset could be one of the biggest ways to prevent you from becoming one of the nearly 2 million people getting divorced in the U.S. each year.
After your wedding ends, talk with your new spouse about your experiences with other roommates. What annoyed you about other people’s living habits or what did they find annoying about your routine? You’ll get an opportunity to set expectations, make compromises and lay the groundwork for a peaceful life together without any surprises regarding your at-home routine.
2. Try Not to Set Romantic Expectations
Some people spend their lives daydreaming about stereotypical romantic stereotypes. They want flowers from their husband after work or a thoughtful meal from their wife before they watch a game on TV.
While there’s nothing wrong with these expressions of love, remember that people express and receive love in different ways. If you set expectations of your spouse, you may be unable to fully appreciate their authentic efforts. If you’re always expecting flowers, you might not fully enjoy how your spouse anticipates your exhaustion after work and does the household chores for you.
Expand your definition of love to get the happily ever after you desire. It’s also something worth directly discussing. Learn how you each want to express and receive love to oil the gears of your marriage.
3. Don’t Expect Each Other to Remain the Same
You fell in love with your spouse at a specific point in your life. As the years pass, you’ll both change. Having kids could change your perspective on life or your values. Losing people might shift your personality. You could get into new hobbies that require adapting your financial strategies or modifying how you organize your home.
Spouses who expect each other to stay exactly the same eventually become unhappy. You’ll either feel like you’re repressing yourself or stifling your partner. Let change happen as it occurs by committing yourself to a love that encompasses your spouse’s growth.
4. Welcome Alone Time
Experiencing life together is a tremendous marital joy, but it can also feel demanding for couples with more introverted personalities. It’s natural to need some alone time, even if you’re an outgoing extrovert. Requesting time to yourself doesn’t make you a bad spouse. It gives you time to recharge your social battery so resentment doesn’t enter your marriage.
Separating aspects of your life can work differently. You might prefer to use separate blankets on your bed or run errands by yourself sometimes. Couples sometimes eat two different foods for the same meal or start solitary hobbies that are easier alone, like mountain biking or painting.
Even if you only walk around the house wearing headphones, you’ll prevent yourself and your spouse from feeling stuck together. Arrange the alone time by communicating in advance so your spouse never feels ignored.
5. Keep Separate Bank Accounts
Married couples might look forward to sharing bills or the deed to their house. However, there are a few reasons for keeping your bank accounts separate. It’s much easier to get the required paperwork for each person when it’s time to file taxes. Everything will clearly apply to you or your spouse’s income, so there’s no risk of tax filing errors while submitting updated paperwork.
You also never know what the future holds. If divorce were to happen, the process would be easier if you didn’t share savings, retirement or checking accounts. It’s not a romantic thing to consider so soon after getting married, but the rest of your life is a long time. Protect both of your interests by keeping your money separate.
Prepare for These Newlywed Pitfalls
Couples might miss these pitfalls for the newly married if they only focus on the fun, romantic parts of married life. Sit down with your spouse to discuss these tips. You’ll communicate better, support each other and prioritize your needs so your marriage thrives.